In the heart of Nashville, amid a collaborative session with a seasoned lyricist, I was given one of the most pivotal insights ever uttered within the walls of a writing room:
“Listeners need to hang their own stuff on your lyrics.”
What he meant is that your lyrics should let listeners connect their own memories and feelings. Your words become a hook they can hang their personal stuff on.
I thought more about this idea, and it launched me on my own journey to use it at the heart of my songwriting: “Emotional Proxies.”
What are Emotional Proxies?
Emotional Proxies are a lyric writing technique. They allow you to write about your own life experiences, but you only share part of the story. Listeners can fill in the blanks with their own memories. This creates a stronger connection, their own connection. They invoke an intimate personal understanding while allowing for universal resonance.
In other words, crafting lyrics that let listeners paint their own pictures.
Crafting lyrics that let listeners paint their own pictures.
Some songwriters fear that delving into their own personal experiences may narrow their audience's relatability. However, expressing intimate moments with care actually has the opposite effect. Listeners can find their own connections, turning songs into adaptable templates or Emotional Proxies.
How to use Emotional Proxies?
Here are six ways to use Emotional Proxies in your lyrics:
Use Specific Imagery – Think of memorable images from your life. Maybe a childhood toy or words engraved on a family heirloom. Use vivid details in the lyrics. But leave room for listeners to picture their own versions.
Ask Thoughtful Questions – Pose lyrics that make listeners think back on their own lives. Did their middle school goodbye mirror your family’s summer move? Ask in a way that allows them to fill in specifics.
Unpack Timeless Themes – Tie distinct life episodes to universal topics, like leaving home. Getting lost in Manhattan could represent independence. Portray your pivotal memory. But keep themes broad, so listeners contextualize based on their past.
Let Music Fill The Gap – When words alone don’t fully capture emotions, use music’s power. Instruments, tempo, and tone create moods communicating memories’ feel. Embed concrete lyrics within resonating music to help listeners supply significance from the soundtrack of their lives.
Use Relatable Tropes – Common cultural touchpoints like first kiss or graduation manifest uniquely for all. Tap into these shared yet meaningful milestones. Give just enough detail to activate listeners’ own versions of the trope. For example, I’ve just seen my daughter, Poppy, graduate from her university and start a high-powered job in London. These are Emotional Proxies I could mine for writing a lyric. But without saying anything about the details.
Have Fun With Ambiguity – Sometimes, omitting names and pronouns boosts relatability. Saying “I’ll always remember that summer night” is more flexible than “that July carnival in 2005.” This ambiguity helps listeners paint their own pasts onto lyrics.
By sharing authentic moments while moderately restraining details, songs resonate wider. Listeners feel empowered to find profound personal meaning.
To find out about universalizing your lyrics, click here.
Questions
Here are a few questions to use Emotional Proxies in your own workflow:
Do you have a significant memory with an emotion that could inspire a universal lyric others can relate to?
What kind of questions could potentially broaden listeners to also ask the same question from their own experience?
What elements of this experience could be eliminated from a lyric but still maintain the emotions of the memory?
Hope this helps!
Simon
Being personal is the gateway to being universal.
I've realised the more specific I get in my lyrics, the more relatable my songs become for listeners.
It's magic when people tell you that they were touched by your songwriting because it connected with a moment, an emotion or a memory from their life.