Writing For Yourself (Only)
Six tips to use this tool and to write some of your most rewarding songs.
We all need to spend time to fill our creative wells, like movies, TV, theatre, or live music. And one of my favorite ways to spark creativity is through unrestricted personal writing. And that’s fine.
However, as a songwriter, ‘writing songs for yourself’ is even better: free-flowing writing with no strings attached, without external pressures or rules; it’s liberating to write without limits for an audience of one: me. The lyrics flow freely from heart and mind to the lyric sheet, and ultimately, sometimes, they are recorded.
This is also a great thing for me as a commercial songwriter. Many of my most rewarding songs began as a private way to process things in life without any intention to share them with others, necessarily. And it has become an important tool in my toolbox.
Many of my most rewarding songs began as a private way to process things in life
I vividly recall a traumatic period when I was living in Africa, and armed robbers attacked our car. It was a terrifying ordeal. During that time, the lyric
"Why would anyone want to take my baby away from me?"
emerged spontaneously as I was writing a private song to process emotions. The song provided an outlet for my feelings about losing security and control amidst the jarring criminal act. Translating raw emotions into poetic, lyrical form helped restore my inner equilibrium when I needed it most.
Here’s the track, My Lady. Not cut, but part of my therapy.
Now, I hope and pray you will never have an event like that to live through, but here are six tips for writing a song purely for personal reflection. Think of it as journaling with rhythm and rhyme to unlock deeper insights, letting your uncensored thoughts flow, using abstract song structures, embracing obscure personal details, disregarding length, and keeping it private. Here’s a little more about each of these things.
Six tips for writing songs for yourself
1. Letting your thoughts flow uncensored
The key is complete authenticity - say exactly what you feel in the moment without second-guessing. Nobody else will read your raw lyrics at this stage, so delete your inner filter. The song likely won't follow typical verse-chorus structure or universal imagery, and that's OK.
Start with stream-of-consciousness writing about a formative or emotional experience that needs processing. Describe the memories, senses, and feelings flooding your mind without trying to craft perfect rhymes or scansion. For now, the goal is uncensored ideas, not performance value.
I’d often type lyrics fast on my phone's notepad to capture my thoughts before they slipped away. The words may seem disjointed or cryptic later, but they accurately capture my state of mind in that moment of insight, emotion, and memory processing.
Think of it as excavating your authentic inner world and wisdom through music.
2. Embracing abstract song structures
With the pressure off, you also don't need locked-in verses and choruses. Follow whatever loose form expresses your message, using an unusual phrase repeated amidst changing imagery and melodies.
Think of your song structure almost as a musical therapist gently encouraging you to re-explore formative memories and experiences that need processing. The lyrics don't have to make sense logically; they need to resonate emotionally to help you better know yourself.
Playing with song structure can help highlight which lines or melodic motifs feel most impactful or cathartic to linger on versus others you're ready to move past.
3. Use personal details and memory pictures
With no one else reading this, don't worry if no one else would get your lyrical references. Use whatever mosaic of images, places, objects, sensations, and snippets of memories feel meaningful just to you.
The lyrics almost act like a coded roadmap of your soul that you can revisit later. When strong emotions surface again, singing this song helps unlock and contextualize those memories to aid in healing.
4. Disregard expectations around song length
Again, without the pressure of performing or releasing this, let your self-expression dictate whatever song length feels right rather than radio play edits.
It’s fine to repeat lyrics multiple times if you're not yet ready musically and emotionally to transition or resolve a deep reflection. Looping vocal and instrumental motifs almost act like a musical background to help process memories from varied angles.
5. Keep your musical and mindmap private (for now)
This style of songwriting is intended for self-understanding, not public appraisal. The lyrics and structures reveal your inner world that outsiders may never fully grasp. And that’s OK - this musical diary entry achieves its purpose whether anyone else hears it.
Sometimes, you might choose to frame this material as exploratory personal work, not a formal commercial release. Unfinished albums like Taylor Swift's "The Lakes" convey that candid spirit. Also, artists sometimes include raw voice memo sketches, giving insight into their reflective process amidst more polished releases. If, at a later date, these ideas seem more relevant than you thought or even brought into a co-write, that’s fine, too.
6. Removing pressure is key to writing for yourself
Ultimately, letting your uncensored inner landscape guide lyrics, sound, and structure without self-judgment or maximizing mainstream appeal is the key to self-revelatory songwriting.
Also, when you switch over to writing songs deliberately for other people to hear - writing with artists, commercial writing, or co-writes - you sometimes need to write without the editor on your shoulder all the time. This tool will help you find new freedom in the writing room, applying the same freedom you’ve enjoyed when writing for yourself.
This tool will help you find new freedom in the writing room.
Use this pressure-free space as a way of exploring your personal observations and experiences and translating these into a lyrical one to understand better what these mean. It’s fun when you’re able to write just about anything. Just for you. After all, these are songs written for yourself (only).
Questions
Here are a few questions for you:
What private emotional memories or current thoughts do you need to process?
What initially random imagery or sensory details come to mind reflecting on those experiences?
What music style and tempos would fit your mood if this stayed private?
Hope this helps!
Simon